Anyway by the weekend my 'ooh this is a positive sign' happiness had worn off and the horribly itchy spots throughout my scalp, round my nose and mouth had become a tad less exciting. I now have spots across my scalp, covering my chest and back, round my nose, hairline and chin and I'm wearing so much cover up I could easily join a reality TV show - admittedly it's pasty white not orange but the look is all there. I've had to stop wearing a necklace as the itching is so unbearable and have taken to downing a few anti-histamines to cope.
So by Tuesday the scabby horrible itching reduced me to tears and I phoned my lovely husband at lunchtime sobbing with self pity. He was of course wonderful and whilst my skin still felt horrible at least I'd had a virtual hug and some extra support.
Fortunately my up and down emotions can create some moments of humour. Later on that day Al received another phone call from me. When he answered he could only hear some strange noises and my voice breaking up. Thinking I was crying he reassured me that everything was okay and said "it's alright sweetheart you can talk to me, just tell me what's wrong". What a lovely man. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, this kindness was directed at my back pocket. Al was gently and sweetly, giving love and support to a misdialed call. I had inadvertently dialled his number when I put my phone in my pocket. Still as someone with bowel cancer I expect my bottom could do with extra reassurance.
Today's trip to the hospital was fine, and they've doubled my antibiotics to keep the cetuximab rash under control. This is good, as currently without make-up I could frighten people. Rather than 16 from the back 60 from the front, I have a case of 14 from the chin and 40 from the wrinkles. It does seem a little unfair. However I am also aware that without the spots I would be seriously stressed that the cetuximab wasn't working. I can tell you all, that other than the vaguely pleasant train trip to Guilford, there's not a completely easy part of this journey...
|My 14 year old chin...thank god for cover up!|